Love at first sight isn’t necessarily something I think I believe in, but love at first email from my Big?

Yeah, that’s definitely a thing.

Joining a sorority is something that I’ve wanted to do since I was a junior in high school. Four years later, I finally went through formal recruitment and found a home in the Alpha Delta chapter of Tri Sigma.

Joining a sorority means that I get a “Big.” A lot of people love getting one, and I’m excited for mine. I’m more excited about eventually being able to get my own “Little” one day. That’s still a few months off at the earliest, though, so my focus is on the sister who’s going to be my Big.JaycieJaskolka via Snapchat An incredibly frazzled me documenting my thought process on on my Big's identity

Big-Little Week for my chapter started this weekend, and my new member class got emails from our Bigs either Saturday or Sunday. Or, when you’re me, you get one on both days and spend forever screaming about them.

I wasn’t expecting to get so worked up over this. Sure, I hate not knowing something, but it couldn’t be that difficult, right? Ha, no, so wrong.

Getting the first email was exciting; getting the second email was overwhelming. I was like, “I’m sure I’ll like my Big and all, but the hype around it seems excessive.”

Yet, here I am, on the edge of my seat, refreshing my email way too often to be considered normal. I’m hooked by this and I can’t wait to see what this week -and my Big- have in store for me.


JaycieJaskolka via Snapchat
An incredibly frazzled me documenting my thought process on my Big’s identity


Here’s the thing, though: I’m reading way too much into every little thing. Is this an actual fact about my Big or is it to throw me off the scent of who my Big is? It doesn’t help that my boyfriend knows who my Big is and is constantly taunting me with it. I’m not saying that it’s keeping me up at night, but I’m totally saying that I’m going to scream for the next week straight.

Obviously, I have a top pick for who I want to be my Big. There’s a process with ranking, which is honestly starting to feel like the entirety of Greek life, so I had to figure out who I wanted most. But, the little bit I’ve learned about my Big-a mutual interest in Sense and Sensibility, how she knows about my favorite spot for Philly house shows (RIP Golden Tea, honestly), and a mutual clumsy nature.

Sure, everyone gets a Big. But it’s real easy to love yours when they go out of their way to make this week so special for the new members. It’s also real easy to get incredibly frustrated. It’s a joke between me and one of the girls in my new member class that the withholding of information is hazing. Messages from me to her include the hashtags #stophazing, #sigmasdonthaze, and my personal favorite, my magnum opus, #notallbigs.

So, 24 hours since the last contact from my Big, I find myself wondering how much I’m overthinking every little detail and wondering how far the Bigs will go to convince us they’re not who we think they are.

Jaycie Jaskolka
Jaycie is a third year accounting and legal studies dual major. She enjoys always being right and smoothies.

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